Nature, nurture or neither?

Over the years I have spent a lot of time discussing with people the importance of proving that being gay was not a choice and that looking for the genetic 'cause' was key to achieving equality.  Surely if it were proven that we had no choice in the matter the bigotry and discrimination would have to cease.  Just like the colour of our hair, eyes and skin; if we didn't choose, how can we be considered bad, wrong, disordered, ungodly or any of the other terms used to describe people in the LGB community and how could people continue to suggest that we need to be 'cured' or change our 'lifestyle choice'. 

I strongly argued the value of finding the 'gay gene' and the genetic answer to this seemingly essential question. I debated and discussed with people who had a different opinion and didn't feel a need to find a cause so to speak.  I was always unsure how they could feel this way, surely they understood how helpful this would be?  Groundbreaking? The key to everything?  Utopia.

I am now less convinced about how important this actually is and whether it would be beneficial or potentially harmful to find an elusive gene.  Let's consider if it were medically proven that being gay was actually genetic.  Where would that leave us?  Potentially it would leave us in a position where it could be considered a defect and therefore something to be medicated, treated and cured.

What are my thoughts now?  Is it a choice?  Does it matter?  I don't believe it does.  Should we be hunting for a genetic answer - I don't know.  I actually believe sexuality is on a spectrum and just like so many variants in life people are spread along a broad range of possibilities and the possibilities are endless and unique to each individual - as unique as our fingerprint.  Just as a straight person is unable to pin point the moment they chose to be straight and why they are attracted to a certain person, I believe it is the same across the spectrum of sexuality.  When you fall in love it is indeed with a person not a gender. 

What do we know?  Painting a boy's toenails or fingernails will not make him gay.  A young girl who prefers to play with trucks will not be a lesbian as a result of this.  You cannot turn someone gay.  Allowing a child, youth or adult to be themselves and love who they love will help them have a strong sense of self and will directly reduce the amount of self harm and suicide. 

This is something we can all do to make a difference and that should be where our efforts as a society are going.  Stop discrimination and fight homophobia.  Acknowledging that some people are same-sex attracted, others attracted to their opposite sex and every possible gender and sexuality variation in between is the ideal approach we can take.  Why?  It will save lives.  We are not seeking the straight gene and therefore there is no reason to seek the gay one. 

Thoughts? 

A

Adele Fisher Copyright 2014