WARNING this post contains offensive language.
Have you been guilty of saying that if it isn't one thing it will be another thing that children get bullied for? I know I certainly have. Have you or your friends/family used the words; gay, poofter, shirt lifter, queer, butch, dyke, carpet muncher, nellie, poof, bum chum, lesbo, homo and the list goes on and gets weirder, to negatively describe a person or a situation? What about jokes which stereotype and degrade LGBTI people such as:
Six mates were seated at the bar, each trying to impress one another with
the size of their dicks. The bragging went on for almost an hour, and the
bartender got tired of hearing that shit, so he said, "Let's put an end to
all this crap and find out who's lying and who isn't. Each of you whip out
your dong and lay it on the bar." All six of then did.
Just at that moment a faggot walked into the bar, and the bartender asked
him if he wanted a drink.
The queer looked down the bar, and in a lisping voice, he said, "No thanks,
I'll just have some of the buffet."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
Lickalotapus
I think it is true to say that many of us have heard these terms used as a negative description of something or someone and similar jokes at the very least. We may have internally cringed but how many of us have said NO, please stop using that language or NO that joke was not funny?
It might be at this stage of the post I expect some people consider this might not be a big issue. Words are words right and they can do no or little harm. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Whilst teaching our own children not to bully and supporting them when they are bullied is helpful I believe we have a broader responsibility. This responsibility is to specifically address bulling topics individually, provide our children and young adults with strategies for themselves and help them learn to respect and support their peers and fellow people. Collectively as parents, peers, teachers, family members, friends and school students we can make these words and jokes if not a thing of the past at least something that is not routinely role modeled to children and then replicated by children. We can make these as offensive to the general public as racist statements and jokes and terms which degrade those with physical or mental injuries/illnesses. Why? What I have described are fundamentally part of the individual and therefore it is abhorrent to be used negatively.
On the subject of youth who are same-sex attracted who takes responsibility for protecting them from this hate and who helps to educate the world? Are our schools and homes specifically addressing that our own children or their peers may be same-sex attracted? Or are some people uncomfortable having the discussion? If this isn't happening are we actually leaving some of the most at risk youth to fend for themselves?
This is not all doom, gloom and negativity. Not only have homophobic attitudes decreased over time but alongside that there are many initiatives and programs around to support same-sex attracted youth. Some of these include: students at Australian public schools who are pledging to not allow the term "so gay" to be used by anyone at the school (this initiative was proposed by the students themselves), Wear it Purple day was introduced in Sydney in 2010 and is celebrated internationally to raise awareness of rainbow youth suicide and homophobic bullying, the Open Doors youth program specifically designed to support youth in the LGBTI community, IDAHO day is a day to highlight action against homophobia and Australian football codes publicly uniting against homophobia. How many of you have heard of these initiatives or special days?
More info on the students banning the term 'So Gay'
Despite the progress there remains a long way to go. Statistics show that two thirds of young same-sex attracted people have contemplated suicide and 80% are bullied for being gay. These outcomes impact on every aspect of life for these youth. Academic performance, peer relationships not to mention mental health. One quarter of those bullied experience the bullying on a daily basis. If bullying is at school it often doesn't go away at the end of the day where they should be able to return to the safe confines of their home. Cyber bullying can make this a constant major stressor from the moment a child opens their eyes to when they fall asleep at the end of the day.
More info on statistics
So why is this the responsibility of all of us even those who oppose equality? It is our responsibility because these are our youth, our children, our grandchildren, our nieces and nephews, the children of our friends and our children's peers who are being damaged and we can stop it together. If we don't stop it the plain facts are; best case scenario these youth feel shame, fear, sadness and so on, the worst case scenario they die. It is difficult to find statistics on the number of youth suicides related to being gay or lesbian. I am not really sure that the statistics in this case are relevant because there is no level of suicide by children due to their sexual orientation that we should ever consider acceptable.
What can you do? Find ways to help move this language out of society, do not be complicit in jokes that degrade gay people, regardless of your beliefs around rights for gay and lesbian people don't support the use of this type of language, don't role model homophobic language or jokes ever and especially in front of children. Remember every single time this is allowed to continue there is a risk that a vulnerable youth may be at breaking point. Help our politicians, role models and religious leaders to understand that referring to LGBTI people as sick, disordered and needing to be cured reinforces that there is something fundamentally wrong with the young person who is gay.
As usual with my blog posts I really would like to hear your thoughts. Ideas on how you can correct your friends/family without damaging your relationships? Suggestions on talking to children about the language which can be so very hurtful and anything else that is on your mind about this topic.
A
Copyright Adele Fisher 2014
No comments:
Post a Comment