Zachary's eyes are like big deep pools you could get lost in, very similar to the dark brown eyes of our son. How could a parent even contemplate harming him; let alone kill him because she thought he may be gay.
May we never forget his name and may we never forget the reason he died. Homophobia is like a tangled far reaching web that seeps into every day lives despite what many people would prefer to believe or see. It's very easy to not see homophobia as an issue in the world most of us live. Day to day we don't necessarily see the impacts of homophobia, these impacts are not in our face to demonstrate what damage it can and does do. This little person Zachary was unable to protect himself from the homophobia that drove his mother to kill him. Admittedly she was a violent woman it seems, but he is dead because of homophobia. It is easier to take the focus from what happened to Zachary and move on in our every day lives. Let's not take the easy road, Zachary certainly didn't and we owe it to him to take our minds to that unthinkable place.
So here we go. On the surface homophobia killed Zachary because his mother reacted to what she saw in him. She thought he was gay and that was something she didn't want to face and killing him was the answer. Honestly though I have no idea why she killed him, really none of us do; she was a violent woman who harmed her other children also. Regardless it raises a discussion that needs to be had. Even the mere thought that he died because his mother thought he was gay is enough for us to look at homophobia in general.
What does homophobia taint? It taints the thoughts and lives of many people, it may be you, it may be the people in your circle of friends but have no doubt there are people in your lives that are homophobic. From the extreme Westboro Baptist Church "God hates fags" to the "I'm OK with gay people as long as it doesn't touch my life directly" i.e. a child/parent/sibling/friend. Is homophobia too strong a word? No it's not. It's more comforting to believe that the root of the concern is not homophobia but again that is the easy road and dismisses the facts. Many law makers will stress they are not homophobic however they do not support full equal rights. If that isn't homophobia what is it? It is the belief that same-sex attraction is in some way lesser that heterosexuality and deserving of different legal rights. That people who are same-sex attracted can live their lives quietly as long as 'they' don't expect to have full equality. It is homophobia and it leads people to believe that their hate crimes have some level of justification. Zachary, Matthew Sheppard and many others have died because homosexuality was seen as abhorrent; something to kill over.
What relationship does this have to equal rights, what difference would equal rights in marriage and beyond make? The difference they make is that through equal rights and laws society makes a clear statement and over time that statement molds what is acceptable and what is not. Facts do not change the opinion of people it is emotions that do. Emotionally we have to make homophobia and in turn inequality unacceptable. If we look at the past major human rights movements; women's rights, indigenous rights, apartheid etc. it wasn't until collectively society said "we do not accept that these people are treated differently and have different basic human rights" that change occurred. Marriage rights are not the beginning of the equal rights movement for homosexuals and it is not the end of the movement however it will make a difference as large as the right to vote for women and the removal of apartheid.
Marriage rights may seem to the every day person as not important and really not something that will force a quantum shift in our society - that is so wrong. Marriage rights are the tipping point, they are the trigger that will help exponentially in moving us from a society that is disgusted and shocked by hate crimes to a society that actively protects the rights of homosexuals.
RIP Zachary; I will not stop speaking on your behalf and I urge my friends not to also.
A
© Adele Fisher 2014
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